“Jake Delhomme contributed half a million dollars to prostate cancer research last year?” shouted Pardon The Interruption’s Tony Kornheiser on Monday, “Well that’s fine and dandy if you’re part of the 49% of the world who happen to be male.  What about breast cancer?  Ovarian cancer?  Is this guy some kind of chauvinist?”

His co-host Michael Wilbon concurred:  “For once we agree, Tony.  This is the age of Venus and Serena, Annika Sorenstam, Danica Patrick…This guy is living in the ‘50s.  I thought we got rid of that mentality years ago.”

ESPN football analyst Sean Salisbury was equally damning: “I think what offends me the most is just how many kinds of cancer this guy can turn his back on.  I mean, you’ve got melanoma, lung cancer, pancreatic…Add them all together, and that’s a whole lot of people Jake Delhomme is letting die.”

Talk show host Jim Rome went even further, making Delhomme’s neglect of all but two of society’s woes the topic of his closing remarks on his TV show Jim Rome Is Burning on Tuesday:

“Never mind all the diseases he’s ignoring—troubling as that is.  What about causes beyond the medical world?  Has this guy ever heard of inner-city poverty?  Stray animals?

“I mean, really, on all these trips to the hospital, do you think he’s even bothered to notice Charlotte’s decaying public parks?  I guess he can’t make that out from behind the tinted windows.  Of the cancer ward.

“Plus, typical of these zillionaire athletes, he only supports the two diseases that he does because he had relatives who had them.  Some 8-year-old ghetto kid in East St. Louis may have anemia, rickets, and West Nile virus, but do you think Jake Delhomme cares?  No, he only cares about diseases that members of his immediate family died from.  What a disgrace.

“It just goes to show you, as always: Pro athletes are pampered babies who have no idea what’s going on in the real world.”