Percentage Of Athletes Who Give 110% Drops To 119%

Fire In Belly Nearly Extinguished

Atlanta, GA -- Researchers at Emory University have discovered that the percentage of pro athletes who give 110% has been declining for years, from an all-time high of 160% in the mid-1980s to a mere 119% today.

The triple-blind study also found that the percentage of athletes who take it to the next level -- nearly 130% 20 years ago -- is now at a lowly 106%. Said research director Eugene Fielding, 41, “Most of us grew up watching athletes who gave 110 to 150% -- from Dick Butkus and Bobby Hull in my father's generation to Lawrence Taylor and Michael Jordan in my own.  But within a decade, competitors who give 110% or more will represent less than 101% of all professional athletes.”

Admittedly, the margin for error (± 100%) is high.  But, as Fielding explains, not as high as it once was: "Methods of measuring GP [Giving Percentage] were extremely primitive for many years -- it was based largely on grass stains."

In 1993 this was rectified when scientists determined that post-game commentary is a far more accurate indicator.

The findings confirm what is known as the Theory Of Don't Make 'Em Like They Used To, as voiced by 200% of TV analysts and uncles.